Category - parenting

5 ways we misunderstand adolescents, according to brain science

7 hours ago

Really good content hear talking about the negative stereotypes we usually give to teenagers.

There is a growing appreciation of adolescence as a time of rapid growth, learning and change. A decade of research studying adolescence makes clear to me the importance of clarifying the truth about this crucial stage of human development.

Here are some important misconceptions:

We over-problematize
We blame it on their brains
We underestimate the brain’s capacity for learning and development.
Calling them teenagers leads to misunderstanding
We forget to see them as a force for good

Please click here for the entire article.

Being A Teen Girl On Social Media Is Like Having A High-Pressure, Full-Time (Unpaid!) Job

2 weeks ago

brett ullman

Canadian content, media, mental health, parenting, technology

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So much information out there today how we have a really unbalanced relationship with our phones and social media. I am not saying we all need to get rid of these things but we all must reevaluate what we are doing.

If it sounds like a full-time job, that’s because it pretty much is — a gig they’ve aged into by virtue of becoming teenagers in the era of the smartphone. As the three friends laugh and chat with one another, their eyes are nearly always cast downward, glued to the devices held between their manicured fingers. The brands they are managing are their own. They post carefully curated updates and stylized pictures of themselves on various apps and platforms. They swipe left and right, opening and closing apps, gasping about the daily drama playing out on the glowing screen, and planning their next moves. They don’t consider it work — it’s more of a necessary pastime that’s become so routine, “it’s like breathing,” says Elina, who is 17. Often, they won’t even let sleep get in the way.

Such a great article

These teens are massively aware of their audience — and of exactly how tenuous their connection to their friends, on social media, can be. If you don’t comment when summoned, if you don’t click that heart when it’s expected of you, are you really being the best friend you can be? And if you’re not living up to the task, how can you expect your friends to be there for you the next time you take a chance and post something? It could mean getting publicly shut down or shut out. “FOMO, I think, for our generation, is a really big deal,” Yasmin says, using the acronym for “fear of missing out.” “Missing out for me, specifically, that’s just like the worst thing,” she says. “I’d rather sacrifice everything than not [be in the know]. . . . With family, they’re always there. With friends, it doesn’t feel that way.”

Love to hear ways you are controlling or managing your time on social media.

Parenting Book Suggestion | Leonard Sax: The Collapse of Parenting

3 weeks ago

brett ullman

brett ullman, Canadian content, great books, parenting

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With all of the books out there for parents to read I want to help narrow the list down to some absolutely amazing books. This is my first suggestion: The Collapse of Parenting by Leonard Sax.

Amazon link – https://amzn.to/2pYlLEo

Affiliate links – If you buy the book from Amazon from the link above you get charged the same price but a small amount comes back to support the work I do at Worlds Apart. If you actually click this link to the Collapse of Parenting book and then buy anything off of Amazon we still get supported. Thanks for your help.

Love to hear your thoughts after you have read this book.

Designing Parents “Report Card”

3 weeks ago

brett ullman

brett ullman, Canadian content, parenting

1 Comment

If our goal is to be the best parents we can be we really need to know how we are actually doing. I am hoping to design a “report card” that we can give to our middle school & high school age children. The goal would be that we can see some areas we need to work harder on in our parenting. There would have to be at least a basic level of trust and openness in a home for a report card like this to be able to be given. I have a few questions I have put down below. Love to hear what other questions you think should be asked.

There would be 3 options for answers:

Always – doing well

Seldom – needs some improvement

Never – time for some serious change

My parent:

Has told me they love me in the past week
Show me that I am a priority in their lives by spending time with me
Knows and takes interest about my friends, my teachers, my life
Is always willing to sit down and listen to whatever I have to talk about
Is always trying to be a better parent to me
Looks me in the eye when having conversations with me and is not staring at their computer or phone
Is modeling good healthy eating strategies to me
Is modeling good sleep habits for me
Gives me clear expectations of things I need to do around the home (chores, garbage, walk dog etc)
Give me advice on important issues in life (drugs, alcohol, pornography, sex, dating, etc)
Has fun with by going for a walk, bike ride, out to dinner, movies etc.

If you are a student or a parent I would love to hear what you think needs to be changed.

The Shadow of the Fear-vangelicals

4 weeks ago

brett ullman

church, leadership, parenting

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This is a really important article for Christian people in the climate we have today. I really like at the end of the article when Skye Jethani writes:

The question is, how do you primarily view the “other”…as a threat to your safety or as a person worthy of your love?”

I actually see this trend in both the church world and in the mainstream culture. We really don’t know how to have the ability to listen to one another. I really love the chart I pulled from the blog below.

Do you see yourself on either side of this chart?

Yesterday I read a few articles on both gun control in the US, and Ontario politics as we head towards an election. The “Fight” side of the chart was alive and well in all the articles and blogs I read. Both sides calling each other names like stupid, brainwashed, uneducated as well as comments that bordered on racist, homophobic, and sexist. None of the articles I read really even talked about opinions and were more just slamming the other side and how “dumb” they are. I think we actually call these “red herrings” where we don’t even argue the actual topic anymore.

I see the other side of the chart in our Christian world where we continue to create a safe “side culture” where Christians run from the society we are in and circle the wagons waiting for impending doom.

Rob Dreher in this article is quoted as saying:

But doesn’t the Bible tell us that perfect love drives out all fear? What happened to the evangelical tradition, a movement that was noted for its robust engagement in the world, to turn a significant section of it into such a fearful bunch?

There has to be a better way. Each time I do one of my talks I address that fact that we might have differing opinions, and that is ok. If we can stop attacking and running from each other maybe we can start to find more common ground. Let us spend more time listening to each other and having a posture of openness and see where it takes us.

Please take a few minutes to read this article. Well worth your time.