Brett.Ullman

Brett’s Picks – Parenting

In my talk called Parenting: Navigating Everything, I cover numerous topics in the realm of parenting such as parenting styles, time, communication, and discipline. The list below includes all the books I promote and I quote in the presentation. I will do other book lists for different topics like mental health, sex, and media etc but this one is my top picks for books on the greater concept of parenting. I have given you direct links to Amazon in Canada and the US after each book. You can find full descriptions on Amazon.

I would suggest having a parenting book on the go at all times whether its a physical book or a Kindle version. Read a chapter or even just 10 pages a day. You will easily then read around a book or 2 every month. I have put (faith-based) at the end of the book if the author has faith-based content in the book. If you want to be a better parents pick up a few books to help you in this area.

  1. The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups – Leonard Sax (Canada) (US)
  2. Trophy Child: Saving Parents from Performance, Preparing Children for Something Greater Than Themselves – Ted Cunningham (Faith-based) (Canada) (US)
  3. Hold On to Your Kids: Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers – Gorden Neufeld & Gabor Maté (Canada) (US)
  4. 12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid: Leading Your Kids to Succeed in Life – Tim Elmore (Canada) (US)
  5. How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success – Julie Lythcott-Haims (Canada) (US)
  6. Revolutionary Parenting: What the Research Shows Really Works – George Barna (Faith-based) (Canada) (US)
  7. The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids – Madaline Levine (Canada) (US)
  8. Dr. Karyn’s Guide To The Teen Years: Understanding and Parenting Your Teenagers – Karyn Gordon (Canada) (US)
  9. Free-Range Kids: How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry) – Lenore Skenazy (Canada) (US)
  10. Under Pressure: Putting the Child Back in Childhood – Carl Honoré (Canada) (US)
  11. Parenting Beyond Your Capacity: Connecting Your Family to a Wider Community – Reggie Joiner & Carey Nieuwhof (Faith-based) (Canada) (US)
  12. The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed – Jessica Lahey (Canada) (US)
  13. The Grown Ups Guide to Teenage Humans: How to Decode Their Behavior, Develop Unshakable Trust, and Raise a Respectable Adult – Josh Shipp (Canada) (US)
  14. The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact – Chip and Dan Heath (Canada) (US)
  15. The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively – Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell (Canada) (US)
  16. The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively – Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell (Canada) (US)
  17. Secrets of Discipline: 12 Keys for raising responsible children – Ronald. G. Morrish (Canada) (US)

These are all books that I have read and I found very helpful in my own parenting, as well as I use their content in my talks. If there are any great books you think I am missing please send them to me. This list will grow over time.

Disclaimer: This blog contains affiliate links to Amazon which means if you click on the book link, and purchase a book, I will receive a small commission from Amazon. Any of these commissions go straight back into the work that I do. Thanks for your support!

The Power of Moments: transitions, milestones, and pits

I love this quote from the book “The Power of Moments’ by Chip and Dan Heath.

“Transitions should be marked, milestones commemorated, and pits filled. That’s the essence of thinking in moments. To be clear, not all defining moments fit into these three categories. Many defining moments could happen anytime.”

It is the idea that big days are big deals. So how are you marking these moments in your home with your family?

So what do you do with these things? Anything you want. Maybe dinner out, a special meal at home, a family hike, go to the movies, a unique dessert or coffee shop etc. The idea is simply that you are just celebrating or acknowledge that something is going on.
Don’t miss these moments in the lives of your kids. Love to hear how you celebrate these moments.

A Cure for Disconnection

Great thoughts on Loneliness here. Well worth the read.

This is why traditional efforts to reach out to the lonely—by, say, visiting a nursing home—are often unsuccessful: They fail to foster deep, meaningful engagement. The encounter is pleasant but fleeting, and the effects don’t last. “If I talk to someone for an hour and then leave, they’re still lonely,” says Dutch sociologist Jenny Gierveld, who has spent 50 years studying loneliness. “The basis of a meaningful bond is reciprocity. A lonely person can’t just answer a lot of questions for an hour and feel connected. He or she has to do something.”


Click here for the entire article.

The Cure for Loneliness

Really great article here with solutions to the problem of Loneliness.

Improving social skills. Some researchers argue that loneliness is primarily the result of lacking of the interpersonal skills required to create and maintain relationships. Typically, these interventions involve teaching people how to be less socially awkward – to engage in conversation, speak on the phone, give and take compliments, grow comfortable with periods of silence, and communicate in positive ways non-verbally.

Enhancing social support. Many lonely people are victims of changing circumstances. These approaches offer professional help and counseling for the bereaved, elderly people who have been relocated, and children of divorce.

Increasing opportunities for social interaction. With this approach, the logic is simple: If people are lonely, give them opportunities to meet other people. This type of intervention, therefore, focuses on creating such opportunities through organized group activities.

Changing maladaptive thinking. This approach might seem surprising, and its rationale less obvious than the other approaches. But recent research reveals that over time, chronic loneliness makes us increasingly sensitive to, and on the lookout for, rejection and hostility. In ambiguous social situations, lonely people immediately think the worst. For instance, if coworker Bob seems more quiet and distant than usual lately, a lonely person is likely to assume that he’s done something to offend Bob, or that Bob is intentionally giving him the cold shoulder.


Click here for the entire article.

Parenting:Book Suggestion | Joseph A. Califano Jr. – How to Raise a Drug-Free Kid

As I was writing a chapter for my new book on drugs and alcohol I came across this amazing book from Joseph Califano. It is called How to Raise a Drug-Free Kid. Well worth the read for all parents looking to address this conversation in your own family.

Description from Amazon-

The highly acclaimed comprehensive guide to getting your child through the formative pre-teen, teen, and college years drug-free—now completely revised and updated.

Nearly every child will be offered drugs or alcohol before graduating high school, and excessive drinking is common at most colleges. But the good news is that a child who gets to age twenty-one without smoking, using illegal drugs, or abusing alcohol or prescription drugs is virtually certain never to do so.

Drawing on more than two decades of research at The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASAColumbia), founder Joseph A. Califano, Jr., presents a clear, common-sense guide to helping kids stay drug-free. All parents dream of a healthy, productive, and fulfilling future for their children; Califano shows which specific actions work and what parents can do to teach, protect, and empower their children to have the greatest chance of making that future come true. Teenagers who learn about the risks of drugs from their parents are twice as likely never to try them, and this book provides the tools parents need to prepare their children for those crucial decision-making moments.

In this revised and updated edition, Califano tackles some of the newest obstacles standing between our kids and a drug-free life—from social media sites and cell phone apps to the explosion in prescription and over-the-counter drug abuse and the increased dangers and addictive power of marijuana. He reveals what teens can’t or won’t tell their parents about their thoughts on drugs and alcohol, and combines the latest research with his discussions with thousands of parents and teens about the challenges that widespread access to drugs and alcohol present, and how parents can instill in their teens the will and skills to choose not to use. Califano’s insightful and lively guide is as readable as it is informative.