Brett.Ullman

Category - men

An Introduction to the Spiritual Disciplines

A great introduction to spiritual disciplines written from the site The Art of Manliness.

Spirituality without discipline moves in hapless fits and starts; it is sporadic, dependent on fluctuating feelings and external circumstances. It requires little to no effort, but also produces little to no sustained growth, and thus little to no fruit.

This is as true for the “spiritual but not religious” as for those who do consider themselves religious, or at least nominally adopt the trappings of a faith. They may go to church every week, maybe even pray every night, but their spirituality has been almost completely stagnant for years. They go through the motions, but don’t really discipline themselves, and thus only produce the barest of fruit. They’re like the people above who “work out” without real purpose, and without putting forth much effort. They may be getting a tad healthier, but their physiques look exactly the same as they did two years ago when they first joined the gym.

For the soul to strengthen, it has to be trained in a consistent, deliberate way. Just like your physical muscles, it needs something to push against, it needs resistance. If you really want your spirit to be able to soar to adventurous heights and explore the profoundest of depths, if you really want it to possess power — if you really want it to be free — it paradoxically needs some structure. It needs discipline.

Click here for the entire article.

How to be a better Father, Husband, and Boyfriend: The Man Talk

Numerous times each year I get a chance to come to churches and conferences and do a talk for guys. I thought I would post my entire talk: the Man Talk on youtube. Please share this with any guys you know.

The Man Talk is what it sounds like – a discussion about what it’s like to be a Man today. It’s a real talk, a meat, and potatoes approach to issues pressing us from all sides:

Being the best Father I can be.
What it’s like to be a Husband and a Servant.
Christian men and sex.

Boyfriend. Father. SON. Husband. Lover. Fixer. Buddy. Servant. Sexual. Boss. Hero. Boys Adrift. Friend. Guide. Daddy. Courageous. Loyal. Theirs. Mine.

Everybody needs a good talk at some point. And, this is one for you. Everyone’s welcome to the man talk – ladies, no jeering. We’re working on a talk for you too 😉

Real Men who aren’t afraid to talk about Man stuff, and who are better for it.

If you would like to bring me in to speak this talk to your guys just send me a message or visit my website

This Woman Takes Selfies With the Men Who Catcall Her

I shared this over facebook and there was a ton of response on private messages. Thought this should be shared as part of my blog.

Yet as most women will attest, street harassment is still an ever-present part of public existence. And while the women I know have had strangers yelling at them, leering, making kissing noises, and being all manner of creep for longer than they can remember, it can still be hard to know what to do when it happens. I’m a look-straight-ahead-and don’t-acknowledge-their-pathetic-existence kind of person, but a lot of my friends opt for yelling expletives back or offering a simple middle finger. It’s a tightrope of standing up for ourselves vs. offering too much attention to these cretins (factoring in the possibility of escalation or violence)–just another exhausting way women are made to bear responsibility for navigating men’s behavior.

This is not ok. How do we teach many men to be different than the way that they are?

Click here for the entire post.

Brett Ullman: Presentations – the man talk

As I enter my 20th year speaking I thought I would take some time over the next week to go over each of the talks that I have. My talks are heavily researched and I am updating my talks all the time.

Talk title: the man talk

Why would you bring me into your church, school or conference to speak this talk? –This is a talk I have done for dozens of men’s breakfasts over the years. It is really challenging men to be better fathers, husbands, and boyfriends. It is a very practical talk.

Talk Description:

The Man Talk is what it sounds like – a discussion about what it’s like to be a Man today. It’s a real talk, a meat and potatoes approach to issues pressing us from all sides:

Being the best Father I can be.
What it’s like to be a Husband and a Servant.
Christian men and sex.
How to lead my family – spiritually.
Dating as a Christian – A how to.

Boyfriend. Father. Son. Husband. Leader. Lover. Fixer. Buddy. Servant. Sexual. Boss. Hero. Boys Adrift. Friend. Guide. Daddy. Courageous. Loyal.

Everybody needs a good talk at some point. And, this is one for you. Everyone’s welcome at the man talk – ladies, no jeering.

Real Men who aren’t afraid to talk about Man stuff, and who are better for it.

What environments can this talk be done in?

  • Conference
  • Camp retreat
  • Men’s breakfast

If you would like more information or would like to book me for a talk please email me at brett@brettullman.com.

We Can’t Ignore This Silent Crisis In Men’s Mental Health

Important conversations. Please read.

Around 80 per cent of suicides in Canada are carried out by men, with men aged 40-60 having the highest rates. Likewise rates of substance use disorder are very high in this demographic, outnumbering women by a rate of three to one. Moreover, some research suggests that depression is elevated in this group. But this is under-reported due to diagnostic bias, where clinicians perceive depression as a “woman’s illness,” and act accordingly.

All this could be due to various factors.

Firstly, traditionally male industries such as manufacturing, forestry and fishing have declined precipitously. This has left many middle-aged men (especially in rural areas) unemployed or under-employed; leaving them without pride, meaning and purpose in life.

Secondly, research suggests that middle-aged men experience divorce and separation particularly hard. This can be a painful process, with men often losing their children, savings, friends, home and reputation. Indeed, a recent Canadian study shows poor mental health in this group.

Thirdly, there are few specific statutory services targeted to helping middle-aged men. For example a recent Statistics Canada report noted that there were 627 shelters for abused women and zero for abused men, even though men make up around 50 per cent of abuse victims.

Please click here for the entire article.