Brett.Ullman

Tag - parenting

New Talk is out! Parenting: Navigating Everything

My new Parenting: Navigating Everything talk is now completed. Love a chance to speak this to your parents at your church, school, conference, camp, or other events.

We all want the best for our kids but which parenting information do we choose? With over 75,000 parenting books produced in the past 21 years and the many voices, articles and online resources available, the task of figuring out where to turn for parenting advice is overwhelming. Some foundational parenting questions all parents must consider:

What are Parenting Styles and which ones should I be using in my parenting?
How can I gain better communication skills and use them with my children?
What does spending time with my kids look like?
How do I effectively discipline my children?
Various aspects of home life also need addressing, with each section being a sizeable discussion on their own. In this talk I will look at where parents can begin these discussions, (on-ramps) and give them practical tools so they can effectively talk with their kids about all of the following areas:

  • Family Discipleship (how to raise our kids in our Christian faith)
  • Health (mental, emotional, physical)
  • Sexuality (pornography, dating, marriage)
  • Media (TV, movies, music, social media)
  • Drug / Alcohol use & abuse
  • Education
  • Finances

Let’s look together at how we can best help our kids navigate the world they are growing up in.

They will not be with me forever, so I prepare them accordingly. – Trophy Child, Ted Cunningham

Click here for the link to my website.

New poster is below

 

Marijuana addiction is real, and teenage users are most at risk

Completly agree with this article.

In the rush to legalize marijuana in Canada, medical experts are warning about weed’s alarming side, particularly for younger users

But after five years of heavy use, Savoie noticed his short-term memory was starting to fray. He avoided talking to people. Worse, festering feelings of anxiety and depression were growing. He tried to mask them with weed, deepening his dependency. He upended his life, quitting his job and breaking up with his girlfriend, trying to find the source of his depression. Nothing worked. “Maybe it’s the drug use,” he recalls thinking, “because I’m constantly relying on it.” (Research shows a link between cannabis use and depression, but causality isn’t clear.) By that time, Savoie was using dabs, a highly concentrated form of marijuana, and he was still grappling with depression. After a minor argument with his sister at the family cabin, Savoie fled and barrelled back to the city in tears. He called a friend to take him to a mental health clinic. Savoie, who had been prescribed antidepressants a couple of weeks earlier, spent two hours with a doctor and was told what he already suspected: he had a dependency on marijuana that was affecting his mental health, and he had to quit.
A survey conducted by the Canadian Centre on Substance Abuse (CCSA), published last year, found that a majority of youth were unaware that cannabis can be addictive and lead to withdrawal symptoms.
Stats on this are something we all should take note of:

The risk of dependence among those who use marijuana is nine per cent (it’s 16 per cent for alcohol), and for those who start in adolescence, the risk rises to 16 per cent. “The more people who try it, the more people will become dependent,” says Anthony Levitt, chief of the Hurvitz Brain Sciences Program at Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto. “It’s unavoidable.”

It is always important to have good definitions:

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders sets out a definition for cannabis dependence, including a strong desire to use marijuana, unsuccessful attempts to cut back and failure to fulfill obligations at work, school or home as a result.

Please take a few minutes to go through this long article from Macleans Magazine.

Click here for the entire article.

Keeping the Communication Lines Open

As parents communication with our children is paramount. This is a really good article on communication. Please take the time to read.

My parents when I was 7: “Go to your room!”
My parents now: “Come out of your room!”
—Paul, age 16

When I speak at parenting conferences, I usually ask parents how many of them are enjoying good communication with their teenagers. About 10 percent raise their hands. So, if you are having trouble communicating with your teen, apparently you are in the vast majority. When I ask parents if they communicated well with their parents when they were teens, again about 10 percent raise their hands. This doesn’t change the communication challenges you face or the possible hurt you experience, but it’s good to know you aren’t alone.

Click here for the entire article.

7 Crippling Parenting Behaviors That Keep Children From Growing Into Leaders

A really good article in Forbes for parents. Always good to be evaluating how we parent.

“I think both fear and lack of understanding play a role here, but it leads with the fact that each generation of parents is usually compensating for something the previous generation did. The primary adults in kids’ lives today have focused on now rather than later. It’s about their happiness today not their readiness tomorrow. I suspect it’s a reaction. Many parents today had Moms and Dads who were all about getting ready for tomorrow: saving money, not spending it, and getting ready for retirement. In response, many of us bought into the message: embrace the moment. You deserve it. Enjoy today. And we did. For many, it resulted in credit card debt and the inability to delay gratification. This may be the crux of our challenge. The truth is, parents who are able to focus on tomorrow, not just today, produce better results.”

Click here for the entire article.

Title for New Parents Talk – thoughts?

As I finish up my new talk for parents I am trying to decide on the title and byline for it. Thought I would ask people their thoughts.

The current graphics I am having created will be some sort of boat with 4-5 paddles per side. The boat itself will be the foundations of parenting we must have and the paddles will be all of the sections that we need to address as parents with our kids.

This talk will cover the foundations of parenting: (boat analogy)

  1. Parenting Styles (what are they, which ones should we be doing)
  2. Communication
  3. Time
  4. Discipline

The remaining section of the talk will be helping parents with all of the different concepts we must deal with: (paddles)

  1. Family Discipleship
  2. Health (mental, emotional, physical)
  3. Sexuality (pornography, dating, marriage)
  4. Media (TV, Movies, Music)
  5. Drug / Alcohol use and abuse
  6. Education
  7. Finances
  8. Section on being Men/Women
  9. anything missing?

Current Titles and Bylines I am thinking of

  • cradle2college
  • Parenting – Everything we need to do
  • Parenting – A Practical Guide to Raising kids
  • Parenting – Equipping and Empowering parents in all aspects of parenting
  • Parenting – Solutions to helping you be a better parent
  • any other thoughts?

Thanks for any help. I am presently booking this talk for Jan 2017 onwards. Love to have a few test runs in Jan. Let me know if you are interested.

How can I discipline my child without breaking their spirit? (Ask Dr. Stanley)

All parents need to discipline their kids. Some great quick thought here.

What breaks a child spirit?

1. We do not listen

 

2. Disciplining without explanation

3. Ignoring their opinions and requests – they have person hood and deep emotions

4. Making Demeaning Comparisons

5. Using fearful words. you never you always. 

6. Expressing misdirected anger – take out on child your own stuff

7. Criticize when they have done their best – never good enough

8. Failure to be loving towards them

9. Failure to provide good things for them to look forward to

Check your motives

1. Check your motives

2. Carefully explain the reason.

3. Use a loving tone of voice

4. Never disciplines in anger

5. Keep your promises

6. Share your regret

7. Never strike with your hand or slap in face

8. Reassume them of your love

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