Brett.Ullman

“Dating.For.Life 2.0” Resources – 26 Links & 100 Questions

With my new talk on dating now finished I have a ton of new resources. I figured I might as well send them out in a blog. Below are the 26 blogs, articles and websites that were the foundation for my new talk. Below that are all of the questions (100 questions) that you need to go through as you are growing in your dating relationship.
At the bottom of this list is also a link to my entire dating.for.life original talk.

  1. Jamie Varon – This is how we date now (**small amount of language. Not a faith based article but an amazing view of dating in this modern culture)
  2. Tim Keller – The Gospel and Sex
  3. Matt Chandler – How do you know when you are ready to date?
  4. Katie Gregoire – Why I’m Not dating in High School 
  5. Paul Washer – Dating, Courtship, and Marriage
  6. The Art of Life – My husband is not my soulmate
  7. David Platt – Singleness and the Next Generation
  8. ChaseGodTV – Don’t waste your singleness
  9. Brian Kammerzelt – How to go on an Actual Date
  10. Andy Stanley – Love, Sex, And Dating (Part 1)
  11. Andy Stanley – Love, Sex, And Dating (Part 2)
  12. Andy Stanley – Love, Sex, And Dating (Part 3)
  13. Andy Stanley – Love, Sex, And Dating (Part 4)
  14. Steve Hill – 7 Principles for Biblical Dating (Part 1)
  15. Steve Hill – 7 Principles for Biblical Dating (Part 2)
  16. Chase GodTV – Christians and Dating
  17. Kristie Wilkindos – How Christians Ruin Dating
  18. Mark Driscoll – Dating (Religion Saves)
  19. Louie Giglio – It’s Not your It’s Me
  20. Tim Keller – Q&A: Dating a Non-Christian?
  21. Caitlin Muir – What are the Real Red Flags in Dating?
  22. Rebekah Bell – 5 Things I Wish I Had Known about Breakups
  23. Jefferson & Allyssa Bethke – What to do after a Breakup
  24. Debra K. Fileta – 5 Christianese Relationship Cliches to Stop Using
  25. The Good Man Project – 15 Honest Questions the Person you Marry should be able to Answer
  26. Gary Chapman – The 5 Love Languages

Questions  – The first 15 Questions come directly from The Good Man Project
15 Honest Questions the Person you Marry should be able to Answer

  1. Why do you love me?
  2. What do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?
  3. What do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?
  4. Will you do your best to keep the romance alive
  5. Will you grow with me, and not away from me?
  6. Will you stick through the rough times?
  7. Are you willing to lose some battles to keep the peace?
  8. Can you promise to put us ahead of everything else?
  9. Will you be a great parent?
  10. Will you be sure to remind me how much you love me regularly?
  11. Can you promise to do all you can to keep the spark alive
  12. Will you support me if I can’t support myself?
  13. Will you promise to con tin to pursue your personal goals and dreams?
  14. Will you not allow yourself to let go?
  15. If I’m the first to go, will you be there with me until the end?

Questions: Money

  1. What are your future financial goals?How will you achieve these goals
  2. How much debt do you have?
  3. Spender vs Saver?
  4. Will you move into a house? How will you pay for that?
  5. Do you pay off credit cards at the end of every month?
  6. Do you tithe (tax collector or investor)? How much?
  7. Do you give any offerings? Where?
  8. Joint or Single Accounts?
  9. Who will pay the bills? Handle the money?
  10. What are your parents spending habits?
  11. Who is paying for our dates?
  12. What is your attitude about buying things before you have the money?
  13. Will you have a large wedding or will you use that money as a down payment on a home?
  14. Lifestyle Expectations?
  15. Kids are Expensive
  16. What are your financial goals?
  17. What other questions about money do you have?

Questions: Religious Background

  1. Are you a Christian? What does that mean to you?
  2. What is your religious background?
  3. Will you go to church together as a couple? Which one?
  4. What place does your faith play in your day to day life?
  5. Are you a practicing Christian or a non practicing Christian?
  6. How are you currently growing in your faith?
  7. What is your parents religious background now?
  8. How important do you think faith will play in your future? Marriage?
  9. Do you want a church wedding
  10. Are you married to your denomination?
  11. Will we raise kids in the Christian faith?
  12. What are things that are important to you within your practice of faith and why?
  13. What other questions about Religious Background do you have?

Questions: Dating History

  1. When did you begin dating?
  2. Have many people have you seriously dated?
  3. What does dating mean to you?
  4. How many people have you seriously dated?
  5. How were your breakups?
  6. What is your relationship with your past GF / BF?
  7. Is there anything about those relationships I should be aware of?
  8. What other questions about Dating History do you have?

Questions: Children

  1. Do you want Children?
  2. How many? Large or Small family?
  3. If you want kids but are unable to will you adopt / foster care?
  4. What is you have a child that is disabled?
  5. What kind of home do you want your kids growing up in?
  6. How much should the guy be involved?
  7. Are you prepared to devote your lives to raising strong children?
  8. What do you think of Rep sports / Competitive Dance etc?
  9. What might your parenting style be like?
  10. How would you discipline your children?
  11. What kids of things or experiences would you like your children to have?
  12. What kind of home do you want your kids growing up in?
  13. What other questions about Children do you have?

Questions: Professional Goals

  1. What do you want to do for work when you are older?
  2. What are you doing to reach those goals?
  3. Where will you live for this job?
  4. What comes with the job you have chosen? Travel?
  5. Where do you want to live?
  6. Where might you have to move due to work?
  7. What does work / life balance mean to you?
  8. What other questions about Professional Goals do you have?

Questions: Personal Health

  1. How do you feel about their physical health?
  2. How is your physical health?
  3. How do feel about drinking?
  4. How do you feel about smoking?
  5. Do you eat a healthy diet?
  6. Do you exercise?
  7. What other questions about Personal Health do you have?

Questions: Personal Growth

  1. What are your strengths? How are you working on them?
  2. What are your weaknesses? How are you managing them?
  3. What is the current book your reading?
  4. What was the last conference you went to?
  5. What is on your bucket list?
  6. What are your strengths?
  7. What are your weaknesses?
  8. Where do you want to be 5 years from now?
  9. What other questions about Personal Growth do you have?

Questions: Sex

  1. Do you sincerely want to honour God in this area of your dating relationship? If so what will we do to help us succeed in this area?
  2. What sexual behaviour is appropriate for those who are going to practice celibacy before marriage? Boundaries? Consequences for broken boundaries?
  3. Will you get tested for STI’s?
  4. Accountability partner. Do you have one?
  5. Past Experiences?
  6. Negative experiences?
  7. Have you struggled with pornography in the past? How are you dealing with this?
  8. How do you presently feel about sex? Scared? Ready to go?
  9. Do you lack any information about Sex?
  10. What other questions do you have about Sex?

If you have any questions that you think I missed please let me know.

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brett ullman

Brett Ullman travels North America speaking to teens, young adults, leaders and parents on topics including sexuality, mental health, men, dating and media. Brett's seminars engage and challenge attendees to try and connect our ancient faith with our modern culture we live in. Participants are inspired to reflect on what we know, what we believe and how our faith ought to serve as the lens through which we view and engage tough conversations in our society today.

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