The Five Love Languages: How to be a better father and husband

The Five Love Languages. Today I want to challenge people to be better husbands and fathers. I want you to learn how to love your wife and kids how they need needs to be loved. It was the first few months into my marriage when my wife talked to me about how she loved cards. I think my response was something like this. “Cards are stupid”. She again said that SHE loved cards. Around this time, she challenged me to read the book “The Five Love Languages.”

The Five Love Languages – Gary Chapman
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Amazon Description –

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love—that’s the challenge! How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts, and just plain boredom of everyday life?

In the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today.

The 5 Love Languages is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work.

In this book the author Gary Chapman talks about the 5 different ways that we express love:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Acts of Service
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

The premise is that we all need to be loved in different ways. I was trying to love my wife how I wanted to be loved not how she needed to be loved. That week I went out and bought her a card for Valentine’s day. That night she thanked me for the card. She then asked, “Did you read it?” I remember picturing myself at the store looking at the row of cards … but did I read it? I said yes to my wife. She held up the card and in big letters on the front it said: “To my husband.” 20 years later this card still lives in my wife’s nightstand. In our marriages, we need to look at how we can love each one in the way that they need to be loved. In the same way, our children have their own ways of receiving love. We can inadvertently wound them by not showing them love in ways they are able to receive it.

Parents who desire to learn how to identify the love languages of their children or teens should read one of these books below and follow its principles. Depending on the age of your children, I would encourage you to pick up one of the 2 books by Gary Chapman.

The Five Love Languages of Children – Gary Chapman
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The Five Love Languages of Teenagers – Gary Chapman
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There is also
The Five Love Languages for Men – Gary Chapman
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There is a difference between knowing or feeling you are loved and seeing you are loved through words, actions, and deeds. Do you know what your love language is? Do you know what the love language of your kids or your wife is?

Love to hear how this helps to grow your relationships with people you love.

Added Aug 17th, 2021

I talk in much more detail about being a better father in my book Parenting: Navigating Everything. Click here.

Also, check out my video on how to be a better man. It should be open below or click here.

five love languages

About The Author

Brett Ullman

Brett Ullman travels North America speaking to teens, young adults, leaders, and parents on topics including parenting, mental health, sexuality, pornography, men, dating and media. Brett's seminars engage and challenge attendees to try and connect our ancient faith with our modern culture we live in. Participants are inspired to reflect on what we know, what we believe and how our faith ought to serve as the lens through which we view and engage tough conversations in our society today.

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