Brett.Ullman

New Book: The Forgotten – looking for 100 stories from caregivers

depressed young people sitting in the tunnel

As most of you know my life changed back in March 2012 when I had a breakdown. 4 1/2 years later I have had 15 medical specialists, 3 Psychologists, 1 Psychiatrist, 2 Naturopaths. On top of this I have had churches and individuals around the world praying for my health and the support of numerous friends and family.

Something I have heard a few hundred times in the past few years is people asking me how my wife and children are coping with my struggles. These people are asking because it is not them who is struggling but their loved one. I hear terms like these people are floundering or drowning and they don’t know what to do. For the most part the people who have been forgotten in my journey are my wife and children. They have to deal with the ramifications of my anxiety, sleep struggles etc but they don’t have the support around them that I do. I have felt a growing desire to help these forgotten people. My problem with this is that I am not a caregiver to my spouse, child or parent, I am the one struggling. What I have decided to do is to collect stories from caregivers so that their stories can help others.

I am looking for stories if your spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, child, parents or a close friend is struggling with any of the following mental health issues:

  • anxiety
  • depression
  • bi poloar
  • schizophrenia
  • OCD
  • other emotional issues

I would also love to hear from caregivers whose loved ones are struggling with:

  • cancer or other disease
  • diabetes
  • chronic pain
  • death of loved ones
  • loss of job
  • or anything else that you think might help others

I would love to hear how you are surviving. This is not how you are helping someone dealing with their struggle. It is you letting people know the boundaries, strategies, thoughts, supports that you have in place for you and/or your family to survive in these tough seasons of your life.

I will then collect these stories. package them up in a book (physical and digital) and we can then get a resource out for people who are caregivers.

FAQ (Frequently asked questions)

  1. When do I have to have the stories in by? Dec 1st, 2016
  2. Do I have to use my or my loved ones real name? No. Feel free to use a fake name but if you (and the person you are writing about) are willing to share your story you can also use your real names.
  3. How much should I write? I am not looking for a large chapter from each person. Maybe 500 words or less on what you are doing. I am flexible here.
  4. When will this book be out? As soon as I get the stories out and put the book together. Hopefully Spring/Summer 2017
  5. Will all stories be published? Once all the stories come in I will be able to see how many we have in each category (ie anxiety, cancer etc) I will pick (with the help of some caregiver friends) the stories that have the best strategies for other caregivers for each section.

All stories can be sent to my email at brett@brettullman.com

If you are thinking of writing a story if you could send me your name and email that would be great. That way I can keep track of how many people are involved.

If you know of someone who might be able to help in this project please forward them this blog.

Thanks

Brett

Canadian Tour Dates – interested in adding your church (no flight costs)

Old metal microphone on wooden table on light blue background

Hi Everyone,

I have recently booked a number of dates through World Vision where I will be speaking at the United Youth Outreach Equipping Events across Canada. This opens up an opportunity for me to book some speaking dates either before or after these speaking dates.

Below are the speaking dates and locations. For all of the dates except Feb 11th in Regina I will be booked for the Saturday and the Sunday morning. I am open to booking dates on either side of these weekends. For the March 4th – 11th I would actually like to stay in BC and speak the entire week.

November 12th – Surrey, BC

January 14th – Calgary

February 11th – Regina, SK (This event is Friday night)

February 18th –  Fredericton, NB

February 26th – Winnipeg, MB

March 4th – Prince George, BC

March 11th – Duncan, BC

April 1st – Aylmer, ON

The flights are all covered for the events. All that would be needed is expenses and an honorarium. Expenses could be hotel, food, rental car etc.

If you are interested in having me please send me a message to brettullman@me.com and we can start talking.

Thanks

Brett

 

SEX BEFORE KISSING: HOW 15-YEAR-OLD GIRLS ARE DEALING WITH PORN-ADDICTED BOYS

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Pretty brutal, honest look at growing up as a young girl today. Worth the read. We need to make sure we are dealing with the issue of pornography in our homes, churches and schools.

Pornography is molding and conditioning the sexual behaviors and attitudes of boys, and girls are being left without the resources to deal with these porn-saturated boys.

Some see sex only in terms of performance, where what counts most is the boy enjoying it. I asked a 15-year-old about her first sexual experience. She replied: “I think my body looked OK. He seemed to enjoy it.” Many girls seem cut off from their own sense of pleasure or intimacy. The main marker of a “good” sexual encounter is only if he enjoyed it. Girls and young women are under a lot of pressure to give boys and men what they want, to become a real life embodiment of what the boys have watched in porn, adopting exaggerated roles and behaviors and providing their bodies as mere sex aids. Growing up in today’s porn culture, girls quickly learn that they are service stations for male gratification and pleasure.

Click here for the entire article.

Julie Lythcott-Haims: How to raise successful kids — without over-parenting

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Wow this is good. Parents watch this 10 minute video.

By loading kids with high expectations and micromanaging their lives at every turn, parents aren’t actually helping. At least, that’s how Julie Lythcott-Haims sees it. With passion and wry humor, the former Dean of Freshmen at Stanford makes the case for parents to stop defining their children’s success via grades and test scores. Instead, she says, they should focus on providing the oldest idea of all: unconditional love.

When ones own actions lead to outcomes…

 

Brett Ullman: Topics for your Church, Conference, School or Camp

young beautiful college student girl studying for university exam in stress asking for help under test pressure sitting on desk with book in youth education concept

Hi Everyone,

I hope you all had a good summer. As we begin another school / ministry year I wanted to send out a blog with information on all of the talks that I do. I have had hundreds of emails this past year from parents, students and educators asking me to help them address tough topics. Below is a list of the topics that I offer

(1) The Walking Wounded – This talk is looking at how we as Christians can have a practical yet Biblical approach to help people struggling with mental health. It includes my own journey struggling with anxiety as well. It answers the question “What do you do when you or someone you love is struggling with Anxiety?”
Promotional Video – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzLLIMTHz1I
Designed for: I do this talk for many Sunday morning church services as well as special nights for parents / students. In schools I do this for High School age.

(2) The.Sex.Talk (Parents Edition) is a version of my sex talk designed for parents. It is NOT a talk about the new Health Curriculum but a talk about how we as parents can help our kids create a Biblical worldview in the area of sex. It is meant to be very practical to help parents in this bridge these topics with our kids.
Promotional Video – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8VI7Acaj6w
Designed for: Parents & a similar version for High School Students

(3) media.faith.culture – the disconnect – This is a fully re-done talk. This talk is a broad talk looking into how we connect our faith with our culture (music, movies, social media etc). Answering the question of how do we connect our ancient faith with our modern world.
Designed for: Grade 7-8 (Could be 6-8). High School & Parents. This is my most common talk for Sunday morning services, youth groups as well as Schools (Elementary and High School)

(4) The Porn Project – is my brand new talk on pornography. It is less about pornography and more about how we as Christians can break free from our struggles with this and how to help our kids in this journey as well
Designed for: Parents & High School Students

(5) Dating.for.life: The Questions – In this new update of my dating for life talk I have gone back to the basics. In this new talk I answer 8 questions on dating: What is dating? When should I start dating? How do I start dating? How do I break up? etc.
Designed for: High School Students

(6) The Man Talk – The Man Talk is what it sounds like – a discussion about what it’s like to be a Man today. It’s a real talk, a meat and potatoes approach to issues pressing us from all sides. In this talk I challenge men to be better husbands, fathers and boyfriends.
Designed for: Men’s Breakfasts or special events at church

If you are interested in any talk please let me know. you can find more information on each talk off of my www.brettullman.com website.

Thanks for your time,

Brett Ullman
Executive Director
Worlds Apart
www.brettullman.com

P.S. I also have a large resource blog on my website www.brettullman.com. You can just go to the site and click on the headings and find hundreds of great resources I have posted this past 2 years in categories like mental health, sex and porn, media, spiritual disciplines, parenting and many more.

How to raise emotionally healthy boys

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Some great stuff here to help parents of boys.

The only tip father’s need is … be present. Michael Reist

Feminism has done a lot to pave the way for each new generation of women, but as barriers continue to be broken down for girls, are we forgetting about the boys? Michael Reist, author and teacher, thinks young males could use a bit more of our attention if they’re going to grow into emotionally healthy men.

Click here for the video.