Brene Brown studies human connection — our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk at TEDxHouston, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share
In order for connection to happen we have to allow ourselves to be seen.
There was only 1 variable that separated the people who had a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it and that was the people who had a strong sense of long and belonging believe their worthy of love and belong. Thats it. They believe their worthy.
The one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that were not worthy of connection.
Most talks and sermons on physical intimacy and marriage are compartmentalized. It is about sex… and then marriage, or it is about marriage… and then sex. Sex becomes an “add-on” to marriage much like a shed out back is an “add-on” to a house. It doesn’t have anything to do with the actual relationship, nothing to do with the structural integrity of the house itself. It’s just a bonus.
Because of this, my understanding of sex became naturally one-sided. What I heard was, “I’m going to love having sex. It will make me feel great.
We seem to have lost any internal critical reflection in our society. We seem to blindly accept everything without giving it a second thought.
Some really great thoughts in this article on Beyonce and her new album. (note: lyrics are extremely sexual)
But, as I said, I could lob that criticism at most of what we consume in this culture. So much of it is bland, superficial, repetitious, existing for its own sake. Devoured quickly, with little intellectual effort, leaving you still hungry and slightly nauseated. I find it therefore annoying and confusing when people speak of Beyonce’s alleged genius, but the unwarranted intellectualization of vapid, empty nonsense is not the most troubling aspect of all of the Beyonce adulation in this culture. The most troubling aspect is that her music is called ”empowering.”
Never mind that “Beyonce” is more a brand than a person. The lady herself is a person, but what’s presented to the world is a carefully constructed and marketed product. It’s a narrative, a story, a walking and talking fantasy novel for girls. I don’t know how much of the final manuscript is Beyonce’s brainchild and how much comes from the team of people around her, but rest assured that everything we see is manufactured. This, after all, is a woman who hired a “visual director” to follow her around and document and stylize her every move.
This song has been on repeat for the last few days since the album came out. This entire album is what I would call a beautiful mess. It is so real: life, doubt, fear, struggle, pain, anger, freedom…
Check it out.
It’s easy to blame God but harder to fix things
We look in the sky like, “Why ain’t you listening?”
Watching the news in our living rooms on the big screens
And talking ’bout “If God’s really real, then where is he?”
You see the same God that you saying might not even exist
Becomes real to us, but only when we dying in bed
When ya healthy it’s like, we don’t really care for him then
Leave me alone God, I’ll call you when I need you again
Which is funny, everyone will sleep in the pews
Then blame God for our problems like he sleeping on you
We turn our backs on him, what do you expect him to do?
It’s hard to answer prayers when nobody’s praying to you
Great conversation here. It adds some definitions to a term we often throw around these days in our church community.
What is Spiritual Abuse?
Spiritual abuse has been defined in a somewhat nebulous way. The term has been (over)used to cover any abuse that happens within the parameters of a church or ministry. Thus Christians tend to be defensive when spiritual abuse is mentioned.
Abuse, by definition is:
to use wrongly or improperly; misuse
to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way
to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about; revile; malign
We assume every Christian has a Bible that looks like this one — worn down, marked up, and paired with a journal stuffed with multicolored spiritual reflections.
But that’s often not true. Many Christians find it difficult to get into a daily habit of Bible reading. So this week John Piper addressed four common causes of Bible neglect in the Christian life, like: “I don’t read my Bible because . . .
. . . it seems so irrelevant to my life.”
. . . I don’t have time.”
. . . I go to church every Sunday.”
. . . I find it confusing.”
What follows is a slightly edited (and abridged) transcript of his answers.
Amazing blog. Parents, teachers, youth workers and young adults please check it out.
Adolescents have dynamic, open, hungry minds. They are creative, brave and curious. It has to be this way. The only way to learn many of the skills they will need to be strong, healthy adults will be to stretch beyond what they’ve always known and to experiment with the world and their place in it.
The adolescent brain is wired to drive them through this transition, but there will be a few hairpin curves along the way. Skilful drivers are not born from straight roads.
Most of their behaviour, even the most baffling, frustrating, infuriating parts of it, can be explained by the changes that are taking place in their brains. This can feel as confusing for them as it does to us. It doesn’t mean they can sit back and blame their brains for their troublesome behaviour. They need to manage these changes in a healthy, adaptive way, but to do this they need information. When they have the information, they expand their capacity to respond to the world in ways that will help them thrive.