Brett.Ullman

Tag - men

We Can’t Ignore This Silent Crisis In Men’s Mental Health

Important conversations. Please read.

Around 80 per cent of suicides in Canada are carried out by men, with men aged 40-60 having the highest rates. Likewise rates of substance use disorder are very high in this demographic, outnumbering women by a rate of three to one. Moreover, some research suggests that depression is elevated in this group. But this is under-reported due to diagnostic bias, where clinicians perceive depression as a “woman’s illness,” and act accordingly.

All this could be due to various factors.

Firstly, traditionally male industries such as manufacturing, forestry and fishing have declined precipitously. This has left many middle-aged men (especially in rural areas) unemployed or under-employed; leaving them without pride, meaning and purpose in life.

Secondly, research suggests that middle-aged men experience divorce and separation particularly hard. This can be a painful process, with men often losing their children, savings, friends, home and reputation. Indeed, a recent Canadian study shows poor mental health in this group.

Thirdly, there are few specific statutory services targeted to helping middle-aged men. For example a recent Statistics Canada report noted that there were 627 shelters for abused women and zero for abused men, even though men make up around 50 per cent of abuse victims.

Please click here for the entire article.

The biggest threat facing middle-age men isn’t smoking or obesity. It’s loneliness.

I found this article really interesting. I would say that I agree. I know it is a struggle I have had in my own life.

This is a long article but one I would challenge men (and women) to read and to take some time to ponder where are you in this conversations and look at how you might be able to make some changes.

As men grow older, they tend to let their friendships lapse. But there’s still time to do something about it.

I TURNED 40 IN MAY. I have a wife and two young boys. I moved to the suburbs a few years ago, where I own a fairly ugly home with white vinyl siding and two aging station wagons with crushed Goldfish crackers serving as floor mats. When I step on a Lego in the middle of the night on my way to the bathroom, I try to tell myself that it’s cute that I’ve turned into a sitcom dad.

During the week, much of my waking life revolves around work. Or getting ready for work. Or driving to work. Or driving home from work. Or texting my wife to tell her I’m going to be late getting home from work.

When people with children become overscheduled, they don’t shortchange their children, they shortchange their friendships. “And the public health dangers of that are incredibly clear,”

Click here for the entire article.

We Can Change the World by Changing the Way We Raise Boys

Saw this online yesterday and loved it. Thought I would share it with you in case you have not seen it. Well worth the read.

Click here for the entire article.

Men do not have to give up their masculine nature. They have to redefine it. They don’t need to be warriors for territory and power over others. They can be warriors for peace, the environment, social justice and equal rights.

Men do not need to become more like women. They need to become more fully human, more in touch with who they are, free to achieve their human potential, including the full range of emotional expression.

Social change happens one person at a time. When we change the way we raise boys, we will change the world.

“Boy’s Will be Boys” Is Killing our Men

Some really good thoughts here. Please take the 2 minutes to read the article.

When it comes to sex, there is this expectation of males, and it’s a really low one.

The ‘boys will be boys’ culture is not wrong because it’s not inclusive of women.  The ‘boys will be boys’ culture is wrong because it destroys women and men.  In a ‘boys will be boys’ culture, rape is funny, because women don’t matter.  It is a culture that puts the hormonal impulse of the male above all else.  It is an attitude that celebrates a lack of self-control and a reckless headfirst dive into hedonism.  It is a culture that breathes objectification of women.  It is a culture that excuses, even celebrates, the depravity of humanity.

But when it comes to sex, decency, and respect for the life, health, and well-being of another, “boys will be boys” does not fit.

It does not fit when a teenage boy gets drunk.  It does not fit when a young adult drives 100 in a 55.  It does not fit when a husband cheats on his wife.  It does not fit when a drunk college student is raped in a back alley.

Excuses breed acceptance; acceptance breeds expectation; expectation breeds performance.

Pretty soon, a man’s ‘manliness’ is defined by how reckless he can be instead of how responsible.

It leaves us with a culture of reckless, irresponsible, ego-centric, porn-saturated males, who are fairly convinced the world revolves around them and women are simply baby-making, sandwich-making, orgasm-giving bodies.  After all, boys will be boys.

Click here for the entire article.

It’s Not ‘Cute’ When Dads Threaten My Son For Dating Their Daughter

Wow, such a great article.

If you’d like to protect your daughter, raise her in such a way that she can protect herself. Give her the tools to decipher a dangerous situation. Teach her the language of consent and how to exit a situation that makes her uncomfortable. Help her be confident about her decisions, and show her how to make good choices about the people she spends time with. Take the time and be involved in her life.

Protect your son in the same ways. And, for goodness sake, if you have good reason to distrust their judgment, make sure their activities are safe and monitored.

Above all, realize and come to terms with the fact that teenage sexuality is not a “boy thing.” Teenage sexuality is a teenage thing. Young men and young women alike are going to be curious, interested, and looking to learn more about sex.

Your daughter is just as curious as my son, I can virtually guarantee it. Yet you don’t see me polishing a shotgun when she comes over to do homework. You don’t see me posting pictures on Facebook with watered-down threats about personal harm should I find out she gets handsy with my son.

The idea of threatening young women to keep their hands off young men is ludicrous, yet when roles are reversed it’s completely accepted and even encouraged. Why? In order to raise a generation of kind and respectful men we have to stop telling our boys they’re inherently bad (but it’s not their fault because hormones).

Click here for the entire article.

Robert Whitley: Why men commit suicide

Really great article talking about a topic most people shy away from.

Men’s mental health is an area of key concern, especially the high rates of suicide. Around 75 per cent of suicides are men, with over 50 per week dying by suicide in Canada. These are particularly pronounced in the 40-60 age group. This has led Prof. Dan Bilsker of Simon Fraser University to declare that we are experiencing a “silent epidemic of male suicide.”

Click here for the article.