I had a chance to watch the new Gillette Ad on Toxic masculinity. It is really good. I liked this article on the video from the Scary Mommy blog.
I also think that as we deconstruct toxic masculinity we need more teaching, and discussion on what regular masculinity looks like. Anything that starts this discussion is great to see.
The #MeToo movement has opened a lot of conversations about the way men treat women. We know it’s up to men to change their behavior, but women have been saying that for generations. We need men to hold other men accountable. Enter Gillette’s powerful new ad that asks them to do exactly that.
The ad, targeted at men and called “We Believe,” begins with audio of news about the #MeToo movement. A narrator then takes on the common phrase, “boys will be boys,” asking, “It this the best a man can get? Is it? We can’t hide from it. It has gone on far too long. We can’t laugh it off, making the same old excuses.” The commercial depicts men stepping in to stop their brethren from catcalling and telling women to smile. It shows a father breaking up a fight between two little boys at a BBQ instead of letting them “be boys” and another dad fending off bullies from a little boy while his small son watches intently. It shows a mother cradling her bullied son as vile text messages from his tormentors are shown.
Click here for the article. The link to the video is on this article as well as copied below.
A great introduction to spiritual disciplines written from the site The Art of Manliness.
Spirituality without discipline moves in hapless fits and starts; it is sporadic, dependent on fluctuating feelings and external circumstances. It requires little to no effort, but also produces little to no sustained growth, and thus little to no fruit.
This is as true for the “spiritual but not religious” as for those who do consider themselves religious, or at least nominally adopt the trappings of a faith. They may go to church every week, maybe even pray every night, but their spirituality has been almost completely stagnant for years. They go through the motions, but don’t really discipline themselves, and thus only produce the barest of fruit. They’re like the people above who “work out” without real purpose, and without putting forth much effort. They may be getting a tad healthier, but their physiques look exactly the same as they did two years ago when they first joined the gym.
For the soul to strengthen, it has to be trained in a consistent, deliberate way. Just like your physical muscles, it needs something to push against, it needs resistance. If you really want your spirit to be able to soar to adventurous heights and explore the profoundest of depths, if you really want it to possess power — if you really want it to be free — it paradoxically needs some structure. It needs discipline.
I shared this over facebook and there was a ton of response on private messages. Thought this should be shared as part of my blog.
Yet as most women will attest, street harassment is still an ever-present part of public existence. And while the women I know have had strangers yelling at them, leering, making kissing noises, and being all manner of creep for longer than they can remember, it can still be hard to know what to do when it happens. I’m a look-straight-ahead-and don’t-acknowledge-their-pathetic-existence kind of person, but a lot of my friends opt for yelling expletives back or offering a simple middle finger. It’s a tightrope of standing up for ourselves vs. offering too much attention to these cretins (factoring in the possibility of escalation or violence)–just another exhausting way women are made to bear responsibility for navigating men’s behavior.
This is not ok. How do we teach many men to be different than the way that they are?
Thirdly, there are few specific statutory services targeted to helping middle-aged men. For example a recent Statistics Canada report noted that there were 627 shelters for abused women and zero for abused men, even though men make up around 50 per cent of abuse victims.
I found this article really interesting. I would say that I agree. I know it is a struggle I have had in my own life.
This is a long article but one I would challenge men (and women) to read and to take some time to ponder where are you in this conversations and look at how you might be able to make some changes.
As men grow older, they tend to let their friendships lapse. But there’s still time to do something about it.
I TURNED 40 IN MAY. I have a wife and two young boys. I moved to the suburbs a few years ago, where I own a fairly ugly home with white vinyl siding and two aging station wagons with crushed Goldfish crackers serving as floor mats. When I step on a Lego in the middle of the night on my way to the bathroom, I try to tell myself that it’s cute that I’ve turned into a sitcom dad.
During the week, much of my waking life revolves around work. Or getting ready for work. Or driving to work. Or driving home from work. Or texting my wife to tell her I’m going to be late getting home from work.
When people with children become overscheduled, they don’t shortchange their children, they shortchange their friendships. “And the public health dangers of that are incredibly clear,”