Brett.Ullman

Tag - Joshua Harris

I Survived “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”

Really interesting conversation on a book from almost 20 years ago that was very popular in the Christian Church world.

In 1997, a 21-year-old Christian single released a revolutionary book on dating. The book became an international bestseller and catapulted its unsuspecting author, Joshua Harris, into the Christian spotlight. I Kissed Dating Goodbye effectively “turned the Christian singles scene upside down” and continues to shape the consciousness of how Christians view singleness, dating, and the roadmap to marriage.

Through the connective platform of social media, Harris has been dealt a battering of online criticism from disenchanted Christians in recent years. Some have lashed out at Harris directly for I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and a few have set up websites dedicated to his victims. Many online have called for Harris to apologize for what they believe was hurtful teaching. Meanwhile, others applaud his work and encourage him to stand his ground Some credit their marriage to principles they say they gleaned from his book, and indicate they plan to teach their children the same. Harris has felt pressure from all sides to do or say something.

In this documentary, we’ll see Joshua Harris ready to re-examine I Kissed Dating Goodbye – and its impact – some 20 years later.

Click here to watch this documentary.

There is a great blog on this from Tim Challies as well – Click here for his blog.

Former Evangelical Pastor Rethinks His Approach To Courtship

Kissed Dating Goodbye is the #1 book people talk about when I speak my dating.for.life talk. I have seen people do well with his thoughts and I have seen people take some of his thoughts way to far. I was really pleased recently to read Joshua Harris in this interview. So rare these days to find anyone willing to critically analyze their own work.

HARRIS: I think I’m finally at a place where I’m really trying to listen to those voices. And I think it’s taken time for the consequences of the way that people applied the book and the way the book affected people to play out. And so I’m hearing these different voices saying, here’s how your book was used against me, here’s how it was forced on me, or here’s how I tried to – no one forced it on me, but I tried to apply it and it had this negative consequence in different ways.

I’m trying to go back and really evaluate, you know, where did my book contribute to that? Where was it too stringent? And where was that me and what I was writing, and where was that – the families and the church cultures and so on? So I feel like I’m on the front end of a process to help people in some way if I can apologize where needed and re-evaluate where needed.

HARRIS: Well, you’re exactly right. I believe that the Bible does give certain commandments and guidance and so on. I think, though, that it’s really easy for Christians to take truths from God’s word and principles and then in subtle and sometimes not so subtle ways add extra human regulation onto it. For example, there are clear things in statements in Scripture about our sexuality being expressed within the covenant of marriage. But that doesn’t mean that dating is somehow wrong or a certain way of dating is the only way to do things.

Click here for the entire article.