Brett.Ullman

Tag - dating

10 Red Flags in Dating Relationships you should NEVER ignore

This is a REALLY important question we need to address in dating relationships.
What are Red Flags in Dating?
We as parents also have to help equip and empower our kids in these conversations.
These are things you want to address before you get deep into a relationship, engaged, or even married.
This video is coming from a Christian Worldview but can be used for anyone in a relationship. These things are pretty universal for all people.

Love to hear other “Red Flags” that I missed in this video. Just leave them in the comments here or on social media. thanks

I Survived “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”

Really interesting conversation on a book from almost 20 years ago that was very popular in the Christian Church world.

In 1997, a 21-year-old Christian single released a revolutionary book on dating. The book became an international bestseller and catapulted its unsuspecting author, Joshua Harris, into the Christian spotlight. I Kissed Dating Goodbye effectively “turned the Christian singles scene upside down” and continues to shape the consciousness of how Christians view singleness, dating, and the roadmap to marriage.

Through the connective platform of social media, Harris has been dealt a battering of online criticism from disenchanted Christians in recent years. Some have lashed out at Harris directly for I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and a few have set up websites dedicated to his victims. Many online have called for Harris to apologize for what they believe was hurtful teaching. Meanwhile, others applaud his work and encourage him to stand his ground Some credit their marriage to principles they say they gleaned from his book, and indicate they plan to teach their children the same. Harris has felt pressure from all sides to do or say something.

In this documentary, we’ll see Joshua Harris ready to re-examine I Kissed Dating Goodbye – and its impact – some 20 years later.

Click here to watch this documentary.

There is a great blog on this from Tim Challies as well – Click here for his blog.

Dating from a Christian Worldview: Can I date a non-Christian?

This short video gives a simple answer to this question. I think we really overcomplicate this conversation and forget to look at the practical realities of how the future might be with people of different religions in one home. This should be one of many questions you look at while you are dating.

Here is a list of 80 more questions here – https://www.brettullman.com/80-questions-go-dating/

Parenting: What age should our kids start to date?

I often get asked questions about dating from parents. In this video, I want to answer the question: When should I start dating? Helping parents equip their kids for dating (Christian Worldview)

I do have an entire presentation called dating for life that you could watch with your kids or just watch yourself to give you a better understanding of how to help your kids.

You can buy or rent a copy here – https://vimeo.com/ondemand/datingforlife

Dating Bill of Rights and Responsibilities – Thoughts?

I am working on creating a dating bill of rights and responsibilities. I have taken the first run at this and thought I would post and see if people can give me some thoughts. What am I missing? Anything that needs to be deleted? My goal is to make this into a printable PDF for new dating couples to sign as they begin to date.

At the beginning of a new relationship, I think it is really important to outline what is expected from both parties in that dating relationship. It outlines not only what are your rights in dating but what are also your responsibilities in a dating relationship as well.

In this dating relationship, I have the right to:

  1. Leave this relationship at any time. I have the right to not be guilted to stay or threatened to stay in a relationship that I want to leave
  2. Not be physically abused in any way, shape or form
  3. Not be emotionally abused. I have the right not to be verbally abused by someone whom I am dating. Words like stupid, worthless, ugly, fat and others will not be tolerated
  4. I have the right to set sexual boundaries of the beginning of the relationship and I expect these boundaries to be respected.
  5. I have the right to never be coerced, threatened, or forced to do anything sexually that I do not want to do
  6. I have the right not have my dating partner act jealous or possessive
  7. I have the right to not be stopped from seeing family and other friends
  8. I have the right to always be treated with the deepest respect in this relationship
  9. I have the right to be in a healthy, encouraging, supportive dating relationship
  10. I have the right to be treated as an equal in this relationship
  11. I have the right not to be cheated on

In this dating relationship I:

  1. Pledge to not stay in this dating relationship when I know it will not be moving forward
  2. Control my own anger and frustrations and never physically abuse the person I am dating
  3. I pledge to work hard to control any negative talk that comes out of my mouth especially words that can hurt the person I am dating
  4. Will set out sexual boundaries at the beginning of the relationship and I would work hard at not putting my the person I am dating in situations which might make these boundaries be tested
  5. I will never coerce, threaten or force the person I am dating to go anywhere, wear anything, do anything that they do not choose to do
  6. Will work hard to not make my partner jealous by what I am doing
  7. Will have a balanced life seeing both the person I am dating as well as family and friends. I will not isolate myself only being with the person I am dating
  8. I will treat the person I am dating with the utmost respect.
  9. I will work hard at creating an atmosphere that is healthy, encouraging and supportive
  10. I will always treat my dating partner as an equal
  11. I will put boundaries in my life so that I will not fall to the temptation of cheating on my dating partner. If I decide to be with someone else I will break up before moving forward with another relationship
  12. I pledge to get counsel from my family, friends, teachers, pastors and other people giving me leadership in my life to work on all aspects of my emotional, physical, and spiritual well being
  13. Accept responsibility for my own actions. If I hurt the person I am dating in any way I will look at seeking forgiveness and healing that rift I make have caused. If needed I will seek counselling to get help to be a better person.

Thanks for any thoughts