Brett.Ullman

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What are your favourite books dealing with any aspect of Parenting?

As I do research for my new talk on parenting I am wondering what are the absolute must-reads you suggest to parents?

Let me give you my top to get it started:

  1. It’s Just a Phase (Amazon)
  2. The Collapse of Parenting (Amazon)
  3. Teen Years (Amazon)
  4. Revolutionary Parenting (Amazon)
  5. Queen Bees and WannaBees (Amazon)

What do you suggest? Thanks for any help

Brett

 

 

Brett Ullman: Presentations – the man talk

As I enter my 20th year speaking I thought I would take some time over the next week to go over each of the talks that I have. My talks are heavily researched and I am updating my talks all the time.

Talk title: the man talk

Why would you bring me into your church, school or conference to speak this talk? –This is a talk I have done for dozens of men’s breakfasts over the years. It is really challenging men to be better fathers, husbands, and boyfriends. It is a very practical talk.

Talk Description:

The Man Talk is what it sounds like – a discussion about what it’s like to be a Man today. It’s a real talk, a meat and potatoes approach to issues pressing us from all sides:

Being the best Father I can be.
What it’s like to be a Husband and a Servant.
Christian men and sex.
How to lead my family – spiritually.
Dating as a Christian – A how to.

Boyfriend. Father. Son. Husband. Leader. Lover. Fixer. Buddy. Servant. Sexual. Boss. Hero. Boys Adrift. Friend. Guide. Daddy. Courageous. Loyal.

Everybody needs a good talk at some point. And, this is one for you. Everyone’s welcome at the man talk – ladies, no jeering.

Real Men who aren’t afraid to talk about Man stuff, and who are better for it.

What environments can this talk be done in?

  • Conference
  • Camp retreat
  • Men’s breakfast

If you would like more information or would like to book me for a talk please email me at brett@brettullman.com.

Brett Ullman: Presentations – dating.for.life the questions

As I enter my 20th year speaking I thought I would take some time over the next week to go over each of the talks that I have. My talks are heavily researched and I am updating my talks all the time.

Talk title: dating.for.life – the questions

Why would you bring me into your church, school or conference to speak this talk? –If you asked many teenagers and young adults what conversation they want more information on dating would rank up near the top. All students from Jr High onward think that they need to start dating and people really don’t have any basic dating philosophy or plan.

I have on older talk on dating on YouTube:

After speaking this talk for many years I recently redid the entire talk and now have new version called “The Questions”

Talk Description:

In this new update of my dating for life talk I have gone back to the basics. In this new talk I answer 8 questions on dating:

  1. What is dating?
  2. When should I start dating?
  3. Am I ready to start dating?
  4. How do I start dating?
  5. What are Red Flags in my dating relationships?
  6. How do I find out if they are the “One”?
  7. How do I break up?
  8. What if they are the right person for me?

Simple and practical conversations on dating for High School and Young Adults.

What environments can this talk be done in?

  • Youth Group night or special parents night or students/parents combined session
  • Conference
  • Camp
  • Schools (Private Christian or Catholic Schools)

Dating.for.life: The Questions
I presently have this talk as an online course until we can film it later this year.

If you would like more information or would like to book me for a talk please email me at brett@brettullman.com.

New Talk: Parenting Teens

Hope everyone had a good summer. As I head into the fall I am working on research for a new talk on loneliness. I have decided to also start work on a new talk for parents of teenagers. As a father of 2 teenagers, I find myself often being asked by parents about practical tools for parenting. I want to help parents understand their teens, empower their teens, and equip their teens in this crazy modern culture we are living in.

As I begin my research I would love to hear your best parents books, quotes, Ted talks, youtube videos, thoughts, personal tips and anything else you think might be good to address in this talk.

What topics should I cover?

Thanks for any help

Brett Ullman: Presentations – media.faith.culture

As I enter my 20th year speaking I thought I would take some time over the next week to go over each of the talks that I have. My talks are heavily researched and I am updating my talks all the time.

Talk title: media.faith.culture

Why would you bring me into your church, school or conference to speak this talk? – Media discernment is one of the conversations I have been speaking on for 20 years. How do we connect our ancient modern world? This talk will look at music, movies, social media and other forms of media. Not all media is good but not all media is bad (media). It will also look at how we as Christians can get a Biblical Worldview (faith). The last section (culture) will look at how do we engage the world around us as Christians.  It is a balanced look at this conversation.

media: discern your media

“It is the open secret of the church – we make all kinds of incredible claims based on the Holy Scriptures, but our lives are pretty much the same as the lives of the unchurched”  Ted Dekker: The Slumber of Christianity

faith: dive into your faith

“The greatest enemy of the spiritual life was inattention, complacency” Pascal

culture: engage the culture around you

Your calling is found  “where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet” Frederick Buechner

A similar presentation looking at this subject from a parents/leaders perspective is available called Parents 101 or I can do a combined talk with students/parents/leaders in one session.

Talk Description:

The concept and presence of media have become the modern day parable that has forever altered how we interact with our world. What I have come to realize is a growing disconnect – both youth and parents are struggling with applying their Christian beliefs to the media that daily engages them. Do we hear more from the media on how we should live our lives instead of engaging scripture and spending time with Christ?
When we interact with our culture, we take action and, when we think about what we are absorbing, we connect it to our self and our lives. As Christians, we need to actively be involved with our culture without blindly accepting it as true. Pascal said it wonderfully, “The greatest enemy of the spiritual life was inattention, complacency.”

No more thoughtless watching.
No more thoughtless listening.
No more thoughtless online activity.
No more thoughtless anything…
Christianity is a strategic, intentional daily pursuit.

What environments can this talk be done in?

  • Sunday morning or evening service for students and parents
  • Youth Group night or special parents night or students/parents combined session
  • Conference
  • Camp
  • Schools (Private Christian or Catholic Schools)

If you would like more information or would like to book me for a talk please email me at brett@brettullman.com.

Truth vs Fear – Please stop posting fear based content…

In the past year, I have seen a growing trend in the social media posts that I see … fear. I don’t really know where to go with this post as I write it. I could easily talk about all the fear that is in articles today talking about personal health

  • doctors say these 5 foods you should never eat
  • 2 exercises you must never do
  • don’t you dare exercise before bed
  • don’t you ever eat this food before bed
  • don’t ever eat this for breakfast

Or articles I see from parents:

  • these 5 apps you MUST delete from your kid’s phones
  • don’t have your kids on screens until they are at least 5
  • don’t you dare do this as a parent …

Or news articles

  • what really happened at …
  • the truth about …
  • The real story about …
  • Here are the Facts …
  • _____ destroys someone who believes in _______
  • The Eclipse on Aug 22nd was the date of the 2nd coming of Jesus. (I read 2 dozen Facebook messages and as you can tell they were all wrong)

Or the crazy stories that have come across my social media feeds recently (actual articles)

  • Justin Bieber: Pedophiles Run The ‘Evil’ Music Industry
  • Katy Perry Dragged off Stage as Monarch Mind Control Meltdown Goes Viral
  • Police: Chester Bennington Was Murdered

Is it just me or have we lost any basic critical reflection as a society? Many people seem to believe and share anything that comes to their social media feeds without doing any checking.

Let me say something that I would hope you already know:

Just because it is on the internet does not mean it is true.

I would also say that just because you want something to be true, or feel something is true does not make it true.

Something is true because it is true.

I also know that there are differing sides to any topic and that is where the good healthy debate comes in to play. We must be able to challenge the status quo in areas but it has to be done with facts and not fear.

There are some assumptions with the language in all of these articles:

  • We really don’t know what is happening but the person posting does
  • If we only “opened our eyes” we would see that is truly happening
  • For some articles, there is this vast conspiracy that if we only knew the facts we would believe
  • We are pretty stupid as people and need to “get with the program” and what is really going on

So how do we move from what all of these articles have in common – fear; and look towards teaching people how to learn what is true or not.

Let’s just take one online article and see if we can learn how to distinguish the difference between fake articles and real ones.

A few weeks ago Chester Beddington from the band Linken Park took his own life. As someone who struggles with anxiety/depression, these stories always hit close to home. Within days I saw people posting this article on social media talking about how he did not commit suicide but was murdered. This shifts all the conversation on mental health, suicide prevention, supporting friends and family etc (where the conversations should be) and moves it to a homicide investigation which by the way is just not true. So how do we know something is just not true.

I had some conversation with a few people related to this article and no matter what I said they could not think any other way other than this article was true. I had statements like “It might be true”, or “I think it is true”. We need to use some thought as we look online. I like the infographic below. It asks you to look at things from 8 perspectives.

So looking at this article about Chester being murdered.

  1. Consider the Source – the website YourNewsWire.com is not one I have ever heard of. A quick google search shows all kinds of people talking about how this site is a fake news site. Even the site itself has a tab for conspiracies. Not a site that I would trust for news.
  2. Check the author – The article says the author is Baxter Dmitry. A quick search and there is really no information on this guy. Not something a credible news source would be. Even their own website has basically no information.
  3. Check the date – There is a date for this article. It is not an older article being reposted which happens to often.
  4. Check your Biases – this is always a tough one. I do come from the bias that this article is false and fake news. We all come at the news with a bias. I just want there to be something in this article that is newsworthy and not all hearsay. For me to move to another direction there has to be something real to make me move in that direction.
  5. Read beyond – We need to go further than the headlines. I get it. The headline says Chester was murdered and then we have to look beyond that.
  6. Supporting Sources – this is where this article falls apart. From what I can see there are basically no sources. It says “police have reportedly launched a murder investigation? Did they or did they not? The title of the article says he WAS murdered. The police either did or did not launch an investigation. It says that “insiders beliving that it is extremely likely”. So which insiders? Who are” they”? The entire article is the same. No real evidence and lots of generalizations and no proof.
  7. Is it a joke – to be honest, I assumed it was when I first read it due to the shoddily written article with no sources but I think that there are people who actually believe this
  8. Ask the experts. Sites like Snopes say this is fake and if you read the comments in this article people then call Snopes fake. There are no experts arguing this. No real reporters or actual facts.

There is another great website that I would encourage people to go through. https://checkology.org They have a number of great videos to walk through 4 main steps to decide if something is real or fake. They talk about how anything posted could be made to entertain as opposed to inform. Great thoughts.

  1. Filtering News and Information
  2. Exercising Civic Freedoms
  3. Navigating Today’s Information Landscape
  4. How to know what to believe

I think that we have to be really careful what we post these days. We live in a world where anyone can post a blog or news article online. In our current culture we have a responsibiltiy to not be perpetuating any articles that are just not real. Before you post to take some time to think through what you are posting, sharing and “liking” online.

Love to hear any comments on this. How do you discern real news from fake or fear based news?
Thanks