Brett.Ullman

Tag - pornography

SEX BEFORE KISSING: HOW 15-YEAR-OLD GIRLS ARE DEALING WITH PORN-ADDICTED BOYS

Pretty brutal, honest look at growing up as a young girl today. Worth the read. We need to make sure we are dealing with the issue of pornography in our homes, churches and schools.

Pornography is molding and conditioning the sexual behaviors and attitudes of boys, and girls are being left without the resources to deal with these porn-saturated boys.

Some see sex only in terms of performance, where what counts most is the boy enjoying it. I asked a 15-year-old about her first sexual experience. She replied: “I think my body looked OK. He seemed to enjoy it.” Many girls seem cut off from their own sense of pleasure or intimacy. The main marker of a “good” sexual encounter is only if he enjoyed it. Girls and young women are under a lot of pressure to give boys and men what they want, to become a real life embodiment of what the boys have watched in porn, adopting exaggerated roles and behaviors and providing their bodies as mere sex aids. Growing up in today’s porn culture, girls quickly learn that they are service stations for male gratification and pleasure.

Click here for the entire article.

New Cover Story in Time Magazine Highlights Porn Epidemic

Great article in Time Magazine this week. If you don’t get Time Magazine here are some thoughts on the article.

This TIME Magazine cover story also highlights the growing pornography industry and consumption among young people—46% of men and 16% of women ages 18 to 39 intentionally view pornography in any given week. While not the focus of the story, TIME mentions other problems with pornography like how porn often celebrates the degradation of women and normalizes sexual aggression. A short article entitled “How porn is changing a generation of girls,” by author Peggy Orenstein followed the cover story and highlighted how porn changes girls’ perceptions of how they should act during sex. TIME also shares a message we have been spreading for years: Those in the anti-pornography movement are not anti-sex. In fact, we are pro-sex and pro-love. As Deem points out, porn is similar to other superstimulating things, like junk food and video games, in that these things, “have the potential to desensitize you to normal, natural things and ultimately rob you of the one thing you thought they would give you, the ability to experience pleasure.”

Click here for the entire article.

Worlds Apart: Pornography polling results of Canadian Christians

Last year I got a grant to put up a site to begin to poll Canadian Christians on different topics (click here for poll & look for “Survey Project”). For the first year I decided to poll people on the topic of pornography as I had a new talk on this topic called The Porn Project. We have been polling people for around 6 months and I thought I would release the current statistics. I think that the stats show what we already know about our Christian community: many of us are struggling with pornography. At the time of this blog there have been 532 people polled from nearly every Province in Canada and from over 20 denominations.

I you want to take the poll please click here http://stats.worldsapart.org/

Note: I am not a statistician. I had help designing the questions from a number of counsellors, sex therapists and statistics majors from a few Universities. The goal of this ongoing survey is to help identify areas that we (as parents, christian leaders and pastors) might need to address in our homes and churches.

Below are some of the questions from the survey.

Question #2: What is your gender?

PP Question 2

Question #3: What is your age?

Question 3

 

Question #6: How often would you view pornography

36% I don’t watch pornography
10% Daily
16% Weekly
14% Few times a month
11% Monthly
13% Yearly

Question 6

Question #7: Do you think you have an addiction to Pornography?
Takeaway: Roughly 25% of our Christian Community is saying they think they have an addiction to pornography. This is just addiction not people who struggle or dabble in this issue.

Question 7

Question #10: My current church does an adequate job addressing this issue.
Takeaway: For people in leadership over 50% of people polled say that their church is not addressing the issue of pornography. How can we do a better job at this?

Question 10

Question #12: Would you feel comfortable approaching any member of your current church leadership for support if you are struggling with pornography use?
Takeaway: If you are in a position of church leadership how might your congregation respond to this? Do you address this issue with a conversation of shame and guilt or freedom and grace? Are we helping empower and equip people to deal with pornography in our own lives as well as in the lives of our children?

question 12

Question #13: Did you parents ever openly talk about pornography in your home?
Takeaway: 89% of people say that their parents did not. We as parents need to step up and have these tough conversations on our homes even if it makes us very uncomfortable.

Question 13

 

So where do we go from here?

The way to make your church a relevant, accepting place for those people struggling with pornography is to talk openly about these conversations from the pulpit and in all other areas.

In my talk The Porn Project I have tons of great resources for you. Click here for the resources.

If you would like to poll your church, youth group, camp etc on the topic of pornography I can give you a link specific to your group for this. You then just send around the link and all the data is collected from your group. If you are interested send me a message.

If you have any any links or resources I am missing please let me know.

Growing Up in Pornland: Girls Have Had It with Porn Conditioned Boys

Such a hard article to read. What a tough time to grow up today especially being a young women. So much information available and yet so little education and parenting on the topic of creating (for us as Christians) a Biblical Worldview of healthy sexuality.

Love to hear from young women if this is the experience they are having. Love to hear from anybody on what we can do and are doing to combat this?

Pornography is moulding and conditioning the sexual behaviours and attitudes of boys, and girls are being left without the resources to deal with these porn-saturated boys.

My own engagement with young women over the last few years in schools around Australia, confirms that we are conducting a pornographic experiment on young people – an assault on their healthy sexual development.

As the Plan Australia/Our Watch report found, girls are tired of being pressured for images they don’t want to send, but they seem resigned to how normal the practice has become. Boys use the images as a form of currency, to swap and share and to use to humiliate girls publicly.

A 2012 review of research on “The Impact of Internet Pornography on Adolescents” found that adolescent consumption of Internet pornography was linked to attitudinal changes, including acceptance of male dominance and female submission as the primary sexual paradigm, with women viewed as “sexual playthings eager to fulfil male sexual desires.” The authors found that “adolescents who are intentionally exposed to violent sexually explicit material were six times more likely to be sexually aggressive than those who were not exposed.”

Click here for the entire article. (Note ** some sexualized language)

THE PERCENTAGE OF 12-YEAR-OLDS WHO ADMIT BEING ADDICTED TO PORN WILL SHOCK YOU…

Wow. A topic we must be addressing in our homes.

recent study conducted by the NSPCC ChildLine found that a tenth of 12 to 13-year-olds fear they may be addicted to pornography. That’s right, a whopping 10% of kids who just started 7th grade are saying they are already watching porn to the point where they are concerned and don’t feel like they can stop.

Click here for the entire article.

From the top of my blog you can click on Sex & Porn and find great resources for this problem. I also have an entire talk on this I can speak to your parents and students.

Playboy’s Move Away from Nudity is Actually a Bad Sign

Over the last week I have had about 20 people talk to me about Playboy. Each person saying how great it is that Playboy will no longer be having nudity in their magazine. I said to each of them that this is a bad thing as it says something larger about our society. Pornography is everywhere. I read this article and thought it does a great job explaining what I think.

We as a society have arrived at an interesting—and altogether morally confusing—moment. Apparently, we live in such a pornified culture, that the only way to attract readers to a magazine built around ogling women is to put clothes back on them. We’ve reached the point where an “adult” magazine has to distinguish itself by being (relatively) censored.

Click here for the article.