This is a really good article for anyone who works with students in the church world. I have often said that a Jr/Sr High Pastors job needs to be educating and empowering parents as well. As a parent myself I had to take a second and try and figure out if I am one of the parenting styles he mentions:
- Helicopter Parents– they hover too close to the kids at all times.
- Karaoke Parents– they try too hard to be cool, often parroting back what their kids do, say, and wear.
- Dry-Cleaner Parents– drop their kids off for others to raise.
- Volcano Parents– erupt over minor issues. (If you’ve never witnessed this just spend more time at Wal-Mart. You’re bound to encounter these parents.)
- Dropout Parents– these parents have just quit on their kids.
- Bullied Parents– can’t stand up to their kids.
- Groupie Parents– treat their kids like rock stars.
- Commando Parents – let rules trump relationships.
There are some good practical ways to engage the parents of the students you work with.
Click here for the entire article.
Great article on what teens need from their parents at the different ages of their teen years.
As adolescents navigate the stormiest years in their development, they need coaching, support, good examples and most of all understanding
Click here for the entire article.
As a coach (go Ajax Spartans Pee Wee Select!!) I would say “Yes” to this article. So much truth. Please take a few minutes to check it out.
Based on psychological research, the three healthiest statements moms and dads can make as [kids] perform are:
Before the Competition:
I love you.
After the competition:
Did you have fun?
I’m proud of you.
I love you.
I find the last one before and after interesting: “I love you” I cannot tell you how many times after one of my talks I hear a teen or young adult tell me that their parents have never told them that they are loved. How about this for a little take away. Tell your kids you love them. This might look different for each of you. For some of you it might mean a quick text or a phone call. For others grab your kids when you see them next and tell them you love them. Side Note: If they are shocked when you tell them … you probably not told them enough.
Click here for the blog
I often get asked how I keep current on today’s social media, current trends, music and other aspects of todays popular culture. Below are the blogs that I sign up for. I would encourage all youth workers and parents to sign up for all of them. I am NOT saying just “like” them on social media but actually sign up for their blogs. It means you will get updates directly to your mailbox each week on where current culture is and where culture is heading. All these are free.
- Center for Parent and Youth Understanding: Click Here. Sign up for their weekly e-update
- Fuller Youth Institute: Click Here. Bi Weekly updates.
- Azuza Pacific University HomeWord: Click Here. Sign up for their Weekly Culture Updates.
- The Youth Culture Report: Click Here. Daily youth culture trends
- Pluggedin: Click Here. Sign up for their newsletter and choose Culture Clips
- Youth Ministry Unleashed: Click Here.
- Brett Ullman: Click Here. Sign up for daily or weekly updates.
If you know of other great blogs let me know and I will add them to this list.
Some great thoughts from Jon Acuff on culture.
The problem with this principle is that a lot of times we parents give pop culture a huge head start with our kids.
Here’s the truth though:
It’s not whether your kids will have a conversation about the world they live in, it’s whether you’ll have a voice in it.
It’s time to start talking with our kids.
Earlier than we want.
More often than we like.
Don’t give the world a head start with your kids.
Click here for the article.
CNN aired a TV special last night called #BeingThirteen. Incredible look into the lives of 200 eight graders from across the US.
This is the first large scale study to analyze what kids actually say to each other on social media and why it matters so deeply to them.
I would encourage parents and leaders to watch all of this material (there is some language)
“I would rather not eat for a week than get my phone taken away. It’s really bad,” said Gia, a13-year-old. “I literally feel like I’m going to die.”
“When I get my phone taken away, I feel kind of naked,” said Kyla, another 13-year-old. “I do feel kind of empty without my phone.”
Click here to be taken to the article. Many more links you can find on this website.
Which type of parent do you think you are?
Click here for the blog
Great article for all of us to read.
Excessive phone use, commitment overload, multiple page to-do lists, and the pursuit of perfection consumed me. And yelling at the people I loved was a direct result of the loss of control I was feeling in my life.
Inevitably, I had to fall apart somewhere. So I fell apart behind closed doors in the company of the people who meant the most to me.
Some great practical advice
I said things like, “It’s just chocolate syrup. You can wipe it up, and the counter will be as good as new.”
(Instead of expelling an exasperated sigh and an eye roll for good measure.)
I offered to hold the broom while she swept up a sea of Cheerios that covered the floor.
(Instead of standing over her with a look of disapproval and utter annoyance.)
I helped her think through where she might have set down her glasses.
(Instead of shaming her for being so irresponsible.)
[browser-shot width=”600″ url=”http://familyshare.com/Parenting/the-important-thing-about-yelling”]
“Helping parents, youth workers, educators, pastors and others understand and reach today’s youth culture.”
This is one of my favourite websites for information on youth culture.
Please make sure you sign up for their E-Update.
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I have been out of teaching for 9 years myself but I saw similar things like the ones mentioned in this article when I was teaching Grades 7 & 8. Great read for parents and leaders today. Such great thoughts:
“We need to let our kids fail at 12 – which is far better than at 42,” he says. “We need to tell them the truth (with grace) that the notion of ‘you can do anything you want’ is not necessarily true.”
Kids need to align their dreams with their gifts. Every girl with a lovely voice won’t sing at the Met; every Little League baseball star won’t play for the major leagues.
• Allow them to get into trouble and accept the consequences. It’s okay to make a “C-.” Next time, they’ll try harder to make an “A”.
• Balance autonomy with responsibility. If your son borrows the car, he also has to re-fill the tank.
• Collaborate with the teacher, but don’t do the work for your child. If he fails a test, let him take the consequences.
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