Brett.Ullman

Category - men

A photographer edits out our smartphones to show our strange and lonely new world

Do you see yourself in these photos? If so changes need to be made.

Are you reading this on a handheld device? There’s a good chance you are. Now imagine how’d you look if that device suddenly disappeared. Lonely? Slightly crazy? Perhaps next to a person being ignored? As we are sucked in ever more by the screens we carry around, even in the company of friends and family, the hunched pose of the phone-absorbed seems increasingly normal.

Click here for the entire article.

The biggest threat facing middle-age men isn’t smoking or obesity. It’s loneliness.

I found this article really interesting. I would say that I agree. I know it is a struggle I have had in my own life.

This is a long article but one I would challenge men (and women) to read and to take some time to ponder where are you in this conversations and look at how you might be able to make some changes.

As men grow older, they tend to let their friendships lapse. But there’s still time to do something about it.

I TURNED 40 IN MAY. I have a wife and two young boys. I moved to the suburbs a few years ago, where I own a fairly ugly home with white vinyl siding and two aging station wagons with crushed Goldfish crackers serving as floor mats. When I step on a Lego in the middle of the night on my way to the bathroom, I try to tell myself that it’s cute that I’ve turned into a sitcom dad.

During the week, much of my waking life revolves around work. Or getting ready for work. Or driving to work. Or driving home from work. Or texting my wife to tell her I’m going to be late getting home from work.

When people with children become overscheduled, they don’t shortchange their children, they shortchange their friendships. “And the public health dangers of that are incredibly clear,”

Click here for the entire article.

We Can Change the World by Changing the Way We Raise Boys

Saw this online yesterday and loved it. Thought I would share it with you in case you have not seen it. Well worth the read.

Click here for the entire article.

Men do not have to give up their masculine nature. They have to redefine it. They don’t need to be warriors for territory and power over others. They can be warriors for peace, the environment, social justice and equal rights.

Men do not need to become more like women. They need to become more fully human, more in touch with who they are, free to achieve their human potential, including the full range of emotional expression.

Social change happens one person at a time. When we change the way we raise boys, we will change the world.

Village Church – Marriage, Sex, Dating, Parenting Series

This past Fall I enjoyed listening to a series from Village Church in BC addressing some of the largest issues we are dealing with as Christians. As I say in my own talks there is such a disconnect with our Sunday’s from our Monday’s. We need to look at how we connect our faith with our world. PLEASE take some time and go through this entire  series. This is one of the most practical preaching series I have heard anywhere all year. Great thoughts, ideas and discussion on a range of tough topics.

For more information on Village Church please see their website here – http://www.thisisvillagechurch.com/

 

 

“Boy’s Will be Boys” Is Killing our Men

Some really good thoughts here. Please take the 2 minutes to read the article.

When it comes to sex, there is this expectation of males, and it’s a really low one.

The ‘boys will be boys’ culture is not wrong because it’s not inclusive of women.  The ‘boys will be boys’ culture is wrong because it destroys women and men.  In a ‘boys will be boys’ culture, rape is funny, because women don’t matter.  It is a culture that puts the hormonal impulse of the male above all else.  It is an attitude that celebrates a lack of self-control and a reckless headfirst dive into hedonism.  It is a culture that breathes objectification of women.  It is a culture that excuses, even celebrates, the depravity of humanity.

But when it comes to sex, decency, and respect for the life, health, and well-being of another, “boys will be boys” does not fit.

It does not fit when a teenage boy gets drunk.  It does not fit when a young adult drives 100 in a 55.  It does not fit when a husband cheats on his wife.  It does not fit when a drunk college student is raped in a back alley.

Excuses breed acceptance; acceptance breeds expectation; expectation breeds performance.

Pretty soon, a man’s ‘manliness’ is defined by how reckless he can be instead of how responsible.

It leaves us with a culture of reckless, irresponsible, ego-centric, porn-saturated males, who are fairly convinced the world revolves around them and women are simply baby-making, sandwich-making, orgasm-giving bodies.  After all, boys will be boys.

Click here for the entire article.

Safeguard Your Sex Life: 6 Ways to Keep the Little Foxes Out of the Vineyard

A rarely talked about theme in almost all churches is how to have a great sex life in your marriage. Some good thoughts here for starting points of conversations.

But seven years of marriage has taught me something. The health of my sex life directly affects the health of my marriage. Some of you would never talk about sex, not with a spouse, not with a trusted friend, not at all.

Click here for the entire article.

 

It’s Not ‘Cute’ When Dads Threaten My Son For Dating Their Daughter

Wow, such a great article.

If you’d like to protect your daughter, raise her in such a way that she can protect herself. Give her the tools to decipher a dangerous situation. Teach her the language of consent and how to exit a situation that makes her uncomfortable. Help her be confident about her decisions, and show her how to make good choices about the people she spends time with. Take the time and be involved in her life.

Protect your son in the same ways. And, for goodness sake, if you have good reason to distrust their judgment, make sure their activities are safe and monitored.

Above all, realize and come to terms with the fact that teenage sexuality is not a “boy thing.” Teenage sexuality is a teenage thing. Young men and young women alike are going to be curious, interested, and looking to learn more about sex.

Your daughter is just as curious as my son, I can virtually guarantee it. Yet you don’t see me polishing a shotgun when she comes over to do homework. You don’t see me posting pictures on Facebook with watered-down threats about personal harm should I find out she gets handsy with my son.

The idea of threatening young women to keep their hands off young men is ludicrous, yet when roles are reversed it’s completely accepted and even encouraged. Why? In order to raise a generation of kind and respectful men we have to stop telling our boys they’re inherently bad (but it’s not their fault because hormones).

Click here for the entire article.

The Power of Vulnerability | Brene Brown | TED Talks

Amazing talk! Please check it out.

Brene Brown studies human connection — our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk at TEDxHouston, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share

In order for connection to happen we have to allow ourselves to be seen.

There was only 1 variable that separated the people who had a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it and that was the people who had a strong sense of long and belonging believe their worthy of love and belong. Thats it. They believe their worthy.

The one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that were not worthy of connection.

Growing Up in Pornland: Girls Have Had It with Porn Conditioned Boys

Such a hard article to read. What a tough time to grow up today especially being a young women. So much information available and yet so little education and parenting on the topic of creating (for us as Christians) a Biblical Worldview of healthy sexuality.

Love to hear from young women if this is the experience they are having. Love to hear from anybody on what we can do and are doing to combat this?

Pornography is moulding and conditioning the sexual behaviours and attitudes of boys, and girls are being left without the resources to deal with these porn-saturated boys.

My own engagement with young women over the last few years in schools around Australia, confirms that we are conducting a pornographic experiment on young people – an assault on their healthy sexual development.

As the Plan Australia/Our Watch report found, girls are tired of being pressured for images they don’t want to send, but they seem resigned to how normal the practice has become. Boys use the images as a form of currency, to swap and share and to use to humiliate girls publicly.

A 2012 review of research on “The Impact of Internet Pornography on Adolescents” found that adolescent consumption of Internet pornography was linked to attitudinal changes, including acceptance of male dominance and female submission as the primary sexual paradigm, with women viewed as “sexual playthings eager to fulfil male sexual desires.” The authors found that “adolescents who are intentionally exposed to violent sexually explicit material were six times more likely to be sexually aggressive than those who were not exposed.”

Click here for the entire article. (Note ** some sexualized language)